Making And Keeping Resolutions
Dr. A,
Each year I resolve to take better care of myself setting goals like losing a few pounds or taking time out for me. And inevitably, each year there’s always something that distracts me from my goals; I throw my hands up in the air and give up. What can I do differently this year to ensure I attain my goals?
-Distracted in Burlington
Most people make
resolutions to change something in their lives beginning
January 1 and sometimes they are the same ones, as in
previous years, which often increase the frustration and
guilt associated with a sense of failure. The one you
mention, "to take better care of myself [and] setting goals
like losing a few pounds", is one of the most popular in
our image-driven, health conscious society. The
self-discipline behind this type of resolution becomes even
more difficult with increasing age, life stressors, and the
passing of each decade.
When you mention "distractions" that prevent you from
achieving the goal of weight loss, I assume you mean
continuation of unhealthy eating habits due to today's
lifestyle of time pressure, reliance on fast food &
snacking, putting taste above portion, attending many
social events where there is no diet, erratic sleep
patterns, and little time for a regular exercise regimen.
Sometimes, weak behavioral resolve is a result of
unresolved psychological issues (blame, guilt) or emotional
issues (low self-esteem, anger, resentment). A stronger
beginning might be to really understand why you want to
change and to embrace the philosophy that you can never
fail at anything until you stop trying!
With regard to weight loss, a good first step is to consult
with your physician long before charging headlong into a
program of creating a new you. He/she can advise you on
what is a reasonable, weekly weight loss goal based on your
bio-statistics along with an appropriate exercise routine
congruent with your unique physiological needs. Health,
mental wellness, and increased cardio-vascular conditioning
should be your purpose-driven incentive to stay the course
because without good health, long-term happiness is almost
impossible. In this sense, you are also making a change for
increasing the quality of your life which is essential to
maintain positive relationships among family, friends, and
co-workers. This is a far more important purpose than to
try to look ten years younger or to try to imitate the
superficial body/facial images as well as fleeting fashions
constantly bombarding us through TV, magazine covers,
infomercials, messages in some pop/rap music and the movies
of Hollywood. Remember, except for prescriptions based on a
solid medical diagnosis, there's nothing in a bottle or box
which is going to instantly help you achieve the goal of a
resolution. Many commercials promise weight loss, not fat
loss which requires exercise. No cosmetic product can make
you beautiful which is why it's called make-up. Looking
beautiful is not the same as being beautiful.
The only fat burning/weight reduction and physical
conditioning behavior which really works over the long term
has been around for thousands of years before pills,
promises and products: EAT LESS, EXERCISE MORE. The reason
this simple maxim is so difficult to sustain for more than
a few weeks is a combination of distracters such as faster
lifestyles, less exercise in our work, increased automation
to save labor, time, and increased convenience as well as
an explosion in technology (business, virtual games,
unlimited websites), less outdoor time, our expectation of
instant gratification with little or no work ethic, an
increasing sense of entitlement, and continuously living
ever increasing erratic, crazy, multi-tasked lives in
trying to have it all at the expense of our mental and
physical well-being. Remember, you can have it all, just
not at the same time and net worth is not a measure of your
self-worth.
One successful, overall wellness strategy I have
recommended to many of my clients who report long-term,
satisfying results includes the following: (1) collaborate
with a close, trusted friend who has similar goals as
yourself and set realistic, weekly benchmark objectives
based on the advice of your respective physicians, (2) each
of you should maintain a confidential journal detailing
frequency & duration of various exercises (working out
together is ideal) in addition to writing down types and
quantity of food intake with the biggest meal in the
morning and the smallest meal in the evening before 7:30
p.m., (3) agreeing to no snacking between meals unless your
doctor recommends some grazing of several, smaller meals of
healthy foods, (4) drinking only water or nutritious
juices, (5) getting seven to eight hours of sleep per night
on a regular time basis (watching TV while in bed or lying
on the sofa does not count toward the seven to eight hours)
and finally, compare journals at least once a week with
your friend so that each of you can truthfully share
feelings of success and what the scales really indicate. Be
each other's best cheerleader, especially when results seem
to be gradual and discouraging.
Keep in mind that sustained habits are formed only after a
minimum of regular, repetitious behaviors over a period of
six to seven weeks. Lastly, add a prayer of gratitude each
day for all the blessings the Lord has given you and
maintain a positive attitude of optimism and acceptance in
trusting that His divine will and purpose for you is
unfolding as He intends. Ask God each day for the strength,
courage, and wisdom to live each day to the best of your
ability in achieving your resolutions as well as to use
your unique gifts in service to others. Working with Him
through your faith will bring inner peace and is an
unbeatable combination for living an authentically
successful life of purpose, truth, and spiritual
fulfillment, the greatest of all resolutions.
